As Terry Pratchett’s great sage Granny Weatherwax put it ‘Sin young man, is when you treat people as things including yourself, that’s what sin is.’ It’s an unlikely reference to find in a book which appears from the outside to be a psychology text book, and yet that’s just one of the ‘spoonfuls of sugar’ […]
In our monogamous world, falling in love with more than one person results often not in a dream come true, but rather a nightmare. That nightmare could involve Lying, cheating and betrayal; Telling your significant other, risk losing them and breaking up your family; The discovery of polyamory and the risk of rejection by family […]
What if you could be openly welcomed with both your lovers at the local chemist… what if coming out as trans, queer or poly was simply one of many choices during adolescence… what if going to a dungeon to play kinky games on a Saturday night was as accepted as going out for a curry… […]
My sister-in-law has a new boyfriend who doesn’t want to meet her ex-husband. Not for a second. Not even to say hello, let alone a coffee. He can’t bear the thought of her having had sex with her ex- (which they obviously did at least twice because they have two children together). This behavior is […]
‘I’m also polyamorous’, said my friend. ‘But only one way. I can see myself with many women, but I couldn’t stand my wife being with many men. I’m just a jealous person.’ My friend has an IQ of 145. That means his rational mind functions better than 99% of the population. But in 5 words […]
All of a sudden, polyamory is everywhere. Articles flood the internet, many of them are opinion pieces written by people who (so far) identify as monogamous. One of the reasons this is happening is to keep the news cycle churning now that gay marriage seems to be approaching normalcy. The clue is in the name; […]
Everyone asks why. Why take the risk of having an open relationship? They perceive open as ‘non-committed’. Why take the risk of being polyamorous when you are so happy together? They perceive polyamory as a simple choice rather than a choice and an inclination. Rather than argue those misconceptions, my answer is this. The reason we are so blissfully […]
My ex-husband got married this summer. To my boyfriend’s ex-wife. Once we were a quad. Four people together living and loving together. And although we all agreed to stay together for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, that’s not quite how it worked out. Shit happens.
The Joys & Challenges of Open Relationships One of the bigger challenges in polyamory (and that’s saying something) is the new(er) and growing phenomenon of solo-polyamory (or singleish as coined by blogger Polly Singleish). And yet in this stunningly undiscovered book published in 2010 by polyamorous authors Leonie Linssen & Stephan Wik the first chapter opens like […]
So you’ve thought about it, and you think you might want to try an open relationship. An open relationship means more sex, right? Well, maybe. But not before you’ve done a lot of talking. And reading. And researching. And then some more talking. Whilst polyamorous authors Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert work on their forthcoming […]
“Is my pizza bigger than his?” We stopped in a coffee shop and asked for the best pizza in town, and we were directed to another town down the road (and actually in another state) to Ciro’s Pizza, which was touted as “New York style in the backwoods”. I put in an order for a large […]
No it’s not about more ‘procreation’… or at least not just about that. It’s about ethics. Love. And sustainability. In a world gone mad, humans fight for their survival using every tool at their disposal. War, science…and polyamory. The practice of loving more than one with full knowledge and consent of all partners is usually […]
If there’s anybody who would support the plain talking about what men and women want without society’s patriarchal bullshit, it would be me. And as it turns out, also this author.
People who insist monogamy is the only acceptable relationship model, or that polyamorists should not have the same rights for their relationships as monogamists, almost always cite a few often-repeated reasons as to why. You’ve probably heard most of these reasons, whether from coworkers, family, or complete strangers. Although I’m going to focus on polyamorous […]
Couples who venture into non-monogamy may not be wholly prepared for the amount of vilification that they will get from the friends, peers and family. But they certainly won’t be prepared for the amount of vitriol often spewed at them from more practised poly folk.
Dear Louloria, If you’d asked me 6 months ago, I would have said that I love 2 men. But now …after months of drama, mistrust, less time with my husband and having the best connection ever with my new lover, I am just not sure of my feelings any more . Then this weekend I reconnected with […]
Because I had made the choice to enter into plural relationship territory it meant that I could no longer be trusted to respect anyone else’s sexual choice or preference. I was, by definition, an immoral woman. A slut.
‘Will you come over for coffee?’ I said. ‘My boyfriend is in London. The kids can play together.’
‘Why is he in London?’ said my friend.
‘Oh he’s gone for work, I said. But of course it is the ideal situation for him to see other women.’
Unfortunately despite all the good intentions, a minority’s struggle for acceptance will always create a ‘prisoners’ dilemma’ and this one is no different.
In a society which hates and suppresses sex in all but the most rigidly controlled circumstances, many would-be-polyamorists go through a terrible process of trying to meet others expectations. They are unaware that it is their nature to love more than one simultaneously and that this an acceptable choice to make; for in the world’s […]
“Everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed them.” ~ Author Unknown Research has shown that about 4% to 5% of the American public practice consensual non-monogamy. That’s about 12-13 million people. That leaves about 300 million people who practice monogamy. 300 million. We were monogamous. We grew up monogamous. Church […]