No it’s not about more ‘procreation’… or at least not just about that. It’s about ethics. Love. And sustainability.
In a world gone mad, humans fight for their survival using every tool at their disposal. War, science…and polyamory. The practice of loving more than one with full knowledge and consent of all partners is usually condemned by society; but at least one man believes that it could be our salvation.
John is from the North of England. He co-admins the UK Polyamory group on Facebook, doesn’t drive a car, and has a degree in Environmental Health. But his journey was kick-started by tragedy.
In 1986 a friend of mine was raped by a doctor in a hospital. I still can’t understand how someone can abuse power like that. That event sparked a massive change in me; I was there for her, I supported her and she was devastated. The whole experience left me reeling. I started to explore gender politics and feminism. Soon I realised that fairness and equality were at the heart of Green Politics, and in 1989 I joined The Green Party.
People, relationships and honesty are the cornerstones of polyamory. And it’s not just John who believes that open, unfenced or plural relationships are a far more successful path to creating a sustainable future. (What’s that you say about family values preventing infidelity? How’s that working out for you?)
I’ve done a lot of voluntary work helping with conflict resolution, poverty alleviation and strengthening community for more than 20 years. I’m an advocate of polyamory if a person is naturally non-monogamous, as cheating is so damaging to peoples’ lives.
A sustainable society is one where you can be open about who you are and be accepted for that. It’s to do with health and wellbeing. It’s to do with low levels of disease and stress, high levels of happiness and contentment. Polyamory works with reality to dismantle jealousy, co-dependency, insecurity and possessiveness – those factors in a relationship which create pain. It works towards building trust, interdependency and compersion – vicarious happiness for when the one you love is happy. The acceptance and practice of polyamory is a part of social sustainability.
Because to tell you the truth, I’m not worried about the planet. I’m not a ‘save the planet’ person. The planet will do fine without us. It’s people I’m worried about. Humanity. Diversity. People. Because at the end of the day I really love people.
Note: John is also the author of blog post “My Experience of Poly Speed Dating“
Need An Ear? Book Some time to sort through your head with the Polyamory Advice Line.
If you want…
- Third-person perspective on your situation
- Advice on which resources might help you figure out a knotty problem
- A non-judgmental chat on what the hell you’re doing (and reassurance about why you are not crazy, self destructive or a sinner)
…Then Talk To Me.